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Men, of course, have their reasons for dating older women, too.In the fast-paced world of Los Angeles, “dating” may mean going out a few times or spending just one night together.“I can’t explain why, but I’ve always been,” she said, pausing.“Without even knowing someone’s age, you can be sure I’m going to gravitate toward the younger guy.“This isn’t about dating,” said Kevin Mercer* candidly. A.’s entertainment industry and isn’t shy discussing his city’s cougar phenomenon.“It’s a total transactional situation.” And that works out just fine for these young men, who often prefer relationships—whether fleeting or long-term—with cougars.
For Wheeler and other women like her, younger men — many of them 15 years or more their juniors — are a natural fit.
And since men have been dating younger women for ages, why are so many of us surprised — shocked, even — that women would follow suit?
Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, is all too familiar with this double standard. They were absolutely horrified that older women should be having sex with younger men.”When many of us think “cougar,” we picture the ultimate cougar of the big screen: The Graduate’s legendary, martini-sipping Mrs. These days, real-life cougars are stars like Demi Moore (who, in her 40s, married then-twenty-something heartthrob Ashton Kutcher), the coiffed reality-show cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County, and, yes, everyday women — suburbanites and city-slickers alike.
“The mentality of having a youthful person on your arm who makes you feel good, who makes you feel ageless, makes you feel desired and desirable,” Gibson said.
Statistics compiled by AARP The Magazine back up the trend.“They’re looking for companionship, sexual contact, and someone good to talk to and spend time with.