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So, I am a single man in love with a married woman. My affair partner has begun individual counseling to try to find some clarity regarding our situation. UPDATE #3: Well, she’s been divorced for about 9 months now. He has someone who is happy to be with him and shares his values. But I was determined to document the experience to share with anyone else who may be feeling the things I was a couple of years ago. And maybe, just maybe, the next time something like this comes up…

We’ve talked about what that looks like (no contact or just greatly reduced contact? Ostensibly it is to give her time to tend to the details of unraveling her current long-term relationship.

At this point, it appears that things are better all the way around, for all concerned. I keep updating this in hopes someone who reads it will gain a little more insight and receive the benefit of my experience. I realize that life is messy and sometimes we get ahead of ourselves. Especially your future relationship should you choose to move forward with it.

Granted, she told me a month ago that there had been no desire or intimate activity since she met me. He’s the one driving her to do her shopping and then carrying her bags while she shops. The situation is much more nuanced and sophisticated than it would appear some of the commenters are able to process. Handling an emotionally difficult situation with grace and elegance rather than clumsy self-absorption requires care and precision. In order to come on the other side of the experience with your self-esteem intact and any sense of dignity will require patience and fortitude. Anyone who looks at an affair with a simplistic “black and white” filter is doing a disservice to the human spirit…

He’s the one whose opinion she solicits regarding how that shirt or those jeans look on her. And there will be plenty of times when both of those are in short supply.

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