Boundaries in dating
In 1 Corinthians 7:3 and following, Paul says once we are married, our bodies literally belong to our spouse; he also instructs spouses to meet one another's sexual needs and to be together regularly so as to protect ourselves from falling into ungodly lust and extramarital sexual activity.If you have any doubts about God's intention to give us sex as a wonderful, pleasurable gift, Song of Songs should put them to rest.Whatever you did, as you now think about it, does it inspire a comfortable peace or an uncomfortable shudder to remember that Father, Son and Holy Spirit observed it all?Do you believe God was glorified or grieved by what He saw? I can tell you from literally hundreds of emails and personal conversations that the only people who really attempt to justify premarital sexual involvement (with a few exceptions for "just kissing") are those who would like to engage in it in the future or who are currently engaging in it.The orthodox interpretation of the book suggests both that an actual sexual relationship is part of what the narrative relays and a context (at the time of the sexual part of the relationship) of marriage.So marriage is a unique relationship, and the good gift of sex is not only allowed but commanded within that relationship.I have never heard , single or married, defend their extramarital physical relationships from a position of looking back on them.
The game changes when two people are romantically involved or "semi-involved" (a fascinating phrase I recently heard). Before you start throwing things at your computer, let's go to Scripture.Were you honest with the person about making a commitment to him or her before the Lord, or did you defraud or deceive that person in some way?Was your for doing what you did to build that person up spiritually — to make that person "more holy" (Ephesians -29)?It is certainly true that no passage of Scripture says — in so many words, at least — "thou shalt not kiss before marriage." Having said that, I submit that there is a strong argument to be made from Scripture that there is sexual relationship outside of marriage.
The argument becomes clearer when we look at some of what the Bible has to say about 1) sex, 2) our relationships with other believers and 3) sexual immorality itself.
It might have been last night or last week or last year or back in high school or college.